Not long ago I made a conscious decision to return to being a singer/songwriter. I made this decision after spending time in Newfoundland with family who are all very talented musicians. Being around them made me miss being a musician, and caused me to do some introspection, which led me to the realization that the void in my life, the “something missing” I was feeling, was music. I had been a musician for so many years, and then just walked away and abandoned it for more than a decade. The realization that I had been punishing myself, or ignoring a big part of myself, was eye-opening and liberating. It was time.
Ever since I made that decision to go back to being a singer/songwriter, things have been happening at lightning speed. I’ve begun writing again, slowly. Although I’m not completely satisfied with the songs I’ve written thus far, I feel it’s a start, at least, and sure to improve over time, as the rust is scraped away. I began playing my guitar again, rebuilding the calluses on my fingertips. It was painful for the first couple of days, but my fingertips seem to have a great memory. I bought a new guitar, an acoustic/electric. It hasn’t arrived yet, but should be here in a couple of days. I’m looking forward to hearing how it sounds and feeling how it fits in my hands. I started singing in public again, at open mic nights. I thought that would be the best way to ease back into playing, and it’s been wonderful so far. I was terrified at first, but once I started I was ok. It was exhilarating, really, and that old natural high I used to get came rushing back. I’ve missed that high.
The amazing thing about all of this is that suddenly, since I opened the window of possibilities, opportunities of all shapes and sizes have begun to come to me. Performing opportunities I never would have imagined have suddenly presented themselves, and instead of shying away from them, I’ve said “yes”. Yes I will put myself out there and try. Yes, I will take a chance. Yes, I will do my best. I’ve begun learning some of the recording software that’s out there, which at times has frustrated the everliving hell out of me. But I keep at it, and I’ve even managed to get a few songs recorded. They are not studio quality, but rough tracks, demos, ghost tracks. From those tracks I will build the whole song, with harmonies, etc. For now, those ghost tracks are online, for all to hear and comment on. I’ve created an EPK on Sonicbids, so I can try to find more gigs. The tracks really aren’t suitable for public consumption but until I can replace them with something better, I’ll put them there. Who knows, maybe something will happen. I’m really looking forward to getting the studio built. I’ve also created a Facebook page for my music, apart from my personal account.
One upcoming project I’m particularly excited about is the Independent Musicians’ Recording Project and Coffeehouse, in Plymouth, MA on April 30th. It’s an open mic night at the Middle Street School of Music, and the goal of the project is a compilation CD consisting of performances from the Open-Mics. I’m excited about the prospect of being included on a compilation cd, and having the track to use as a more professional sounding “live demo”. I plan to perform the song I just wrote a few days ago, “Back to St. John’s”. That song has haunted me for six months, and although I may end up changing some of it, it truly came from my soul. I wrote it in less than 30 minutes, and maybe it shows. I can continue to work on it, but the basic idea of it will remain the same. I want to go back to St. John’s, where I left my heart six months ago. I can’t think of another song I’d rather have a live recording of.
So…it begins…my foray back into the music world, for better or worse. Hopefully better.